What to Discuss Before You Combine Finances After Marriage

Wedding planning involves more than just choosing a date and booking a venue. As you and your partner prepare to get married, it’s only natural to think about how you’ll commingle your money after saying “I do.”

The way you and your spouse go about it is entirely up to you. Some couples choose to blend all their income into joint accounts, while others feel more comfortable maintaining a little—or a lot—of autonomy. Either way, coming up with a plan is important. In fact, according to our 2024 Consumer Sentiment Survey, many Americans say financial compatibility is more important than shared political views, religion or hobbies.

Conversations to have before combining your finances

Consider using questions like these to spark conversations before deciding what works for you as a couple.

1. How do you like to budget?

Maybe you’re the type who likes detailed spreadsheets, while your spouse prefers quick check-ins on an app. In other words, you and your partner may have different spending and budgeting styles (opposites attract, right?). Share the ways you’ve individually managed your money up to this point and how helpful it’s been in tracking your spending and saving. If joint accounts are in your future, decide if there’s a budgeting method that works best for you both. One partner might prefer to take the lead on budgeting, which is totally fine if that feels good. Just be sure the other person is in the loop and participating equally in decisions.

2. What financial goals are important to you?

Day-to-day spending aside, you’ll also want to think about your short- and long-term goals. That includes retirement planning. If you each have your own 401(k) or individual retirement account (IRA), you may need to adjust your contributions based on the type of retirement you envision together.

Now is also the time to discuss and prioritize what else is important to you. That can include everything from paying down debt to taking a dream vacation to starting a family. Are there any shared goals that you’re both saving for now—and what do you want to save for in the future? Your answers might inspire you to keep some goals separate while continuing to work jointly on others.

3. How often should we discuss our finances?

Talking about money can help you understand each other’s income, debt, credit health and money habits, which will likely affect your financial future together. But talking about money can prove difficult for some couples. In our survey, we found that more than one-third of coupled Americans avoid discussing at least one financial topic with their partner.

Pro tip: Your money conversations should be ongoing, especially as your life and goals change. Together, decide how often it makes sense to check in on your financial health. That includes everyday expenses and longer-term goals. It’s also helpful to determine individual spending limits. This is the maximum amount you both feel comfortable spending without having to inform the other person. It’s a simple move that can help prevent unwanted budgeting surprises and financial infidelity.

Your financial advisor can help

Getting on the same page financially starts with a conversation where you put judgment aside and create a safe space to be honest about how you want to commingle your income, expenses and accounts. Once you do, it’ll be easier to start planning for goals like buying a home, having kids and retiring. And your Northwestern Mutual advisor can provide personalized guidance every step of the way.